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Running Without Me

by Caroline Lucius

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1.
Who's up, who's up for it The joy, the stress You wonder what's the catch of taking on this mess Oh, what's the benefit, you ask, will you get sick of it Heaven sent and elegant, who is up for it Did you know there was darkness up ahead, we got excited We mistook it for the light Oh the wrongs that we were righting And now we can't go anywhere, anyhow No, we can't go anywhere, anyhow It's alright, but sometimes Oh, you bother me I stay awake dreaming of the day I feel I've done enough While you fill your mind with nothing It's unwinding, brushing up on aimless study But you know who you are, and you know what you like You tell me, hey, that's funny, and you go on with life Did you know there was darkness up ahead, we got excited We mistook it for the light Oh the wrongs that we were righting Now we can't go anywhere, anyhow No, we can't go anywhere, anyhow It's alright, but sometimes Oh, you bother me Can you see me from far away? Stay where you are if that's okay I'm everything you'd ever wanna be I'm dream, an ache, and a need, yeah The first impressions you perceive It's all that I'd ever wanna believe in Beautiful, unbroken, cool Who is up for it
2.
I left you dancing I left you in the grass I left you in the movie I left you breaking glass I left you miles off the line You have never even seen my new life I left you like a suitcase I left you for love I felt you leave before for me I left you when you did I left you as we grew up I left you as a kid I left you miles off the line I don't remember Did you meet the new guy
3.
Summertime I used to know so well I'm sure I'll see him again when we're out and about From the way it feels outside you'd never tell Even the sky looks dead at such an early hour Your self worth comes plummeting down And you can't even believe what you believe in now Beauty doesn't matter now It was all in the eyes It was in the mouth And it's all in the ground And if you're running without me I'll still put on some shoes I've been dealing so smoothly Just a small bump or two If I can smile without you We can call it a truce What would it take for you to believe You tried as hard as you could All that you told yourself Don't say it now There's a lot in your thoughts And they're giving off power And if you're running without me I'll still put on some shoes I've been dealing so smoothly Just a small bump or two Call it a truce Call it Call it And if you're running without me I'll still put on some shoes I've been dealing so smoothly Just a small bump or two If I can smile without you We can call it a truce
4.
A fast break from that old grave We felt obligated to visit You better stop me from writing out A fitting farewell to wish it Skipping a step like a stone, who to blame All been lost in luxury Nothing else quite matters here Rooting for the same team Something must be wrong with you Something must be wrong with me You feel it, it feels like home Echoing a roar of voices You feel it, it feels like home Traveling through court floor noises Hurry, hurry, slow down, don't worry A split end, a morning routine I used my time to spend the night Now I'm too tired for my wildest dreams Missed your swing, so just fall back Drop everything, trust fall back You look at the injustices You too, are you like all the rest No, I know there are differences I look for you in this crowded mess You feel it, it feels like home Echoing a roar of voices You feel it, it feels like home Traveling through court floor noises You feel it, feels like home You feel it, feels like home You feel it, feels like home You feel it, feels like home You feel it, feels like home
5.
You're a boy from a movie I'd seen You're a ghost underneath the sheet You're a tiger, you're the noise They say they heard you You're fading, I wanna tell the truth No plan for an end to you You're a fable, a real pain Do I have to explain You were never real You came from under the door They were very real I played with them before The same game I dreaded That's not where I was headed Your a comfort zone, a home The worst place for me to go You were never real You came from under the door They were very real I played with them before Ooo You were never real You came from under the door They were very real I played with them before You're fading, I wanna tell the truth No plan for an end to you You're a tiger, you're the noise They say they heard you Ooo
6.
Beach Day 04:17
I've been at the beach all day And I can only tell you it is temporary But it's not hype Worth a sweat if you're that type I've been on the verge of the sought and the living With a budding thirst for a knowledge of the swimming From the infinitesimal ankle deep But I'll soon lose hold of the wonder at my feet Postcard discontent Bear in mind good judgment The next day is always new, they tell me And they're not all wrong But it's touch and go With no fast-forward, set the volume low I tried to feel the spirit rollin' through my veins Chargin' through boundless dull malaise Kept track of numbers and aimed for goals But all that was never what freed our souls Postcard discontent Bear in mind good judgment Wavering time to kill Levity is all in the diver's will Field days, merely free reign Buried with a key, a lock, a chain A round of a glad game Not a bad idea for a holiday But to what end For keeping peace, a backward bend Read up on the mantras, remedy buzz Little comforts A season for weeding Not the company misery needed Postcard discontent, bear in mind good judgment Wavering time to kill Levity is all in the diver's will Field days, merely free reign Buried with the key, a lock, a chain Water fine Likewise a heat dry A degree prime Never idolize, why Oh, why would I
7.
This is how we do it How we get through it I would have you suffer Even better if I knew it Cause you blew it But that's not how we do it As a perfectionist I might not get over this Ruminate and wonder Find a million ways to view it Cause I blew it But that's not how we do it Someday you'll see that I was right I just stopped talking cause I didn't wanna fight And I'll see my own oversight Not everything is so black and white Well this is how we do it How we get through it I would have you suffer Even better if I knew it Cause we blew it But that's not how we do it Someday you'll see that I was right I just stopped talking cause I didn't wanna fight And I'll see my own oversight Not everything is so black and white

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released July 24, 2023

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Caroline Lucius Chicago, Illinois

Born and raised in Chicago.

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